I’ve been watching football my whole life and I’ve always wanted to do the score predictions vs Lawro you see on the BBC. As I’m not quite a nationally recognised name, I thought I’d do my own version and share my thoughts on Saturday and Sunday’s Premier League Fixtures.
If you’re the betting sort, I’d probably hold off trusting my wisdom unless I’ve played a blinder. Personally I think you’d have better luck on the slots over at ‘darmowe spiny bez depozytu za rejestrację’ than listening to me, but lets hope I’m some sort of score predicting savant.
Leicester vs Brighton:
I think result-wise I’m most confident with this one, right off the bat, I think Brighton have got this one. I say this as a Middlesbrough supporter so I’m not particularly biased. Leicester seem to have redefined the term yo-yo club. Instead of a lifetime of promotion and relegation, Leicester seem to finish in Europe, and subsequently find themselves in a relegation battle within the next 2 seasons. Then, just as people start to doubt them again, and tip them for a rough season they come 7th.
It’s not seeming like their season at the moment and the failure to replace Schmeichel and falling on the equivalent of wet tissue between the sticks, has not served them well. Brighton on the other hand look fantastic, and with the Anime-esc rise of Kaoru Mitoma, my new favourite player to watch.
De Zerbi has filled Potter’s role incredibly, and by no means should the foundations already in place be disregarded, but De Zerbi has made Brighton even more exciting to watch, with players performing above and beyond expectation.
If Wout Faes once again operates like a dad in kids football training, playing for whichever side has the ball, we could see a landslide. But, we all have bad games. Jonathan Walters had a worse game than Faes and he bounced back… Kind of.
Prediction: 3-1 Brighton
Liverpool vs Chelsea:
It’s a match of two titan’s in crisis. One team struggling with the old guard at the helm in Liverpool, where Klopp’s magic is certainly being brought into question, and the other struggling to adapt to life under a new manager, perhaps due to a much deeper issue within the club *Cough Cough* Ted Boehly *Cough Cough*. It’s a really tough one to call, it’s not often you see two giants in such similar disparity. Liverpool are playing like it’s 2011.
Trent’s turned into Paul Konchesky, Nunez is just Lazar Markovic with a Uruguayan Passport and I’m pretty sure Jay Spearing and Jonjo Shelvey have just bought some new wigs and snuck back into midfield. The once feared Klopp Gegenpress feels like a bygone era, as I’ve seen more energy in a McDonalds at 4am in Slough.
Chelsea meanwhile seem to lack any sense of identity, with Potter failing to stamp any semblance of style in to this Chelsea team. It’s far too early to call Potter the problem, but somethings not working there.
I’m going to be bold, and go with Chelsea edging this one, I think this match could be a turning point for both teams. Both are too good to continue to falter, but I think Chelsea and Potter might finally start to click, and edge this.
Prediction: 2-0 Chelsea
Bournemouth Vs Forest:
Potentially a relegation 6 pointer, though Forest have looked a lot better than I thought after their spending spree in the summer. It’s usually a damning sign to have such huge turnover in squad after a promotion, but say what you will, they look a good side and look comfortable so far this season.
The second leg of the season is often the real test for promoted sides, so I’d still reserve them a place in the relegation battle, but Everton, Southampton, West Ham and Bournemouth themselves all look worse, With Cooper proving himself to be a very capable manager.
Speaking of… Bournemouth look like they always do post Howe, they haven’t won in 6 across all competitions and have only scored twice within those 6 games. They were dumped out of the FA cup by championship leaders Burnley and they are sticking with Gary O’Neil as a sort of stop gap for now, which you just cant do in the premier league.
It didn’t work for Leicester, it didn’t work for Middlesbrough when they got relegated in 2017, it didn’t work for Man United with Ralf Rangnick and it’s not working for Bournemouth even if he turned things around briefly after Scott Parker’s, in my opinion outrageously swift dismissal. This Forest side have goals in them, and the brief new manager bounce that helped Bournemouth win at home to Forest in September has surely faded.
Prediction: 2-1 Forest
Southampton vs Aston Villa
Southampton in what has now become a formality find themselves firmly in a relegation scrap. It’s become one of the Premier League’s most predictable plot twists. I’m starting to get sick of the script writers re-hashing this plot line, but with escape artist Ralph “Houdini” Hasenhüttl no longer at the helm, might this finally be the season to write them off?
In relegation battles you can only go off of your last game, and following a Ward-Prowse special they look to have given themselves some hope. Fresh from their incredible cup win against Man City, Southampton are mentality monsters, with this uncanny ability to just keep going.
They’ll make it tough for Villa. However, Villa and their fans will expect a win here. Emery has had a great start, bar a disaster class in which Villa lost to a small child; Steven – age 2.
Despite their capitulation in the cup, Villa do seem much better than they were under Gerrard earlier this season, but Saints need points, and I think we’ll see a minor stumble from Villa as the two sides draw.
Prediction: 1-1
West Ham vs Everton
A battle of two managers under pressure, with Moyes potentially poised to take over from Lampard should both get sacked. It’s a fascinating scenarios, two teams in the same position, both managers jobs riding on the result.
It’s fairly safe to say Lampard is off if they lose here, and despite his success as West Ham, it looks like a season to many for Moyes as he may well face the boot too. Both sides look dire, Everton are my guilty pleasure, they’re a car- crash I cant stop ogling at and Lampard is a hapless paramedic that keeps falling over trying to traverse the icy motorway.
West Ham on the other hand are about as enjoyable to watch as Mrs Brown’s Boys, with Moyes looking more an more like Mrs Brown with each loss. Their only solace is an unbeaten group stage in the star studded Conference League. I’m going to go with another draw, and both managers getting sacked in the process.
Prediction: 1 – 1
Crystal Palace vs Newcastle
The hipsters choice of the fixtures, two teams with bags of potential and ability, with one struggling to find form, and the other keeping tattoo parlour’s across Newcastle in business with their performances. For many Howe was a temporary solution, to keep them up and pave the way for a huge name, but he has performed above and beyond all expectation, with blistering form that will have only seemed possible in Alan Shearer’s most sensual dreams.
In the dizzying heights of 4th, propped up by controversy, ignoring the hundreds of emails from Amnesty international, Newcastle are where the fans have expected them to be for the last 20 years.
On the other side of the fixture, Palace have a squad I think I put together on Football Manager 2021.
With so many names with so much potential, yet no hint of consistency, they must be really frustrating to support. I’d like to see them hit a bit of form, but I dont think this is the game where its gonna click for Viera’s men. In fact, I’m gonna go a scoreless draw in a game with some good saves and dogged defending. If there is a goal it’ll be scrappy.
Prediction: 0-0
Leeds vs Brentford:
On position, and form you’d go Brentford, but football isn’t that simple. Last outing, Leeds put on a performance against Villa that Jesse March hailed as “the best” in his 11 months in charge. They lost 2-1. I’m not sure if that’s promising, or a damning indictment of Marsch’s ability as a manager.
Of course you can play well in defeat, but a loss is a loss, if you pump the other team on stats every week and still lose all the time, at what point do you start to consider them poor performances. Sadly for Leeds they aren’t winning on stats every game either. I dont think I’ve ever looked at a premier league table in the last 3 years and seen them above 14th.
Brentford are everything Leeds have wanted to be since their promotion, a sustainable business model with results, a quirky, likeable manager that plays good football and most importantly, a chance at European football, even if it is the Btec Uefa cup. I think Brentford are gonna make short work of Leeds, Marsch plays possession based football, and i think Brent food dynamism will undo them.
Prediction: 3-0 Brentford
Man City vs Wolves:
Haaland. De Bruyne. Alvarez. Foden. Silva. Mahrez. Palmer. Silva. Grealish.
Prediction: 5-1 Man city
Man United vs Arsenal
Now this is the kind of fixture football is about! An absolute classic and I think this one will be too. In the eyes of Arsenal fans at least. I think United are finally coming along under Ten Hag, as they’ve shown through a fantastic turn around in form. Yes they had a blip vs Palace, thanks to Olise turning into prime Ronaldinho to snatch a draw, but united look 5 times the team they were with Ronaldo.
The last 5 games have looked much better, as Ten Hag has finally given them a football identity that has been vacant since Mourinho. However, I said Arsenal fans will remember this fixture fondly. I think Arsenal will win this, Arsenal only ever win these sort of games if they go on to win the league, and this is in many ways their biggest test.
An inform Man United vs an inform Arsenal. It’s Keane vs Viera, it’s Bergkamp vs Staam, it’s Odegaard vs Casemiro. Off of a purely performance based prediction, I think I’d say a draw, both teams look great and United have hit their stride. But if I’m going with my gut, it’s Arsenal. They keep overcoming the doubters, and I have to go for a 2-1 close fought victory.
Prediction: 2-1 Arsenal
Tottenham vs Fulham
The least passionate London derby, Fulham could cause a shock here, which I say despite Fulham already causing a shock by a real force this season. Tottenham seem out of sorts, Conte has the guise of a sick turtle. He snaps and shows he has some fight, but never progresses any further than the box between 8th and 4th that he sleeps in.
Fulham on the other hand are everyone’s suprise package. Everyone’s favourite to tumble back down to the championship, as they have year after year, Fulham have surpassed every expectation finding themselves in 6th.
Whoever wins goes/stays above the other, in a clash at the start of the season would have been on no ones must watch list. Spurs are Spurs, they are the least predictable predictable team in History.
Table wise they are always the same, but you never know when they are gonna turn up and score 4, or self-destruct at the slightest sign of trouble. Got to give credit to Fulham, and try to predict the unpredictable, as i think this is another Spurs slip.
Prediction: 1-0 Fulham
